If you ever have to wade into the gator-infested swamp (they're usually called "phone trees") of the health care industry, fear not: here's a project to help pass the time. Over the course of a week+, dealing with the that's-not-my-job-ask-the-other-company obstacle course, I decided to go through old and current email accounts, and started deleting the e-mountains of paperwork that had been piling up probably since AOL was a thing. And despite the frustrations of playing referee between the heavyweight boxers known as Kaiser and Blue Cross, I'm proud to say I've deleted enough e-mails to make the entire Internet faster. I invite you to do the same. Plus, there's an indulgent feeling in telling that deposed Nigerian prince, "You're not getting my money, ya lying jerk"!