I've been meaning to write this since I put down my yellowing spiral-bound California road map, and downloaded your app. I must admit, in an age when everything has secured some online real estate, your service actually demonstrates some impressive utility.
And believe me, I need it.
There are, generally speaking, 3 types of people in the world.
People with an innate sense of direction. They have a pretty good idea of where to go, and how to get there. They're the people you want in the car during road trips, especially when those adventures take you through zones of little to no internet access.
People who lack a sense of direction. These are probably the majority of folks on the planet, and they're why Rand McNally is a household name. And that's just fine.
Then there's me. I was born with a crippling condition called Destimorphoplasia. Never heard of it? Understandable. There's only so much room in the DSM-5, and since I'm the only one that I know of to suffer from this debilitating genetic travesty, I understand why it got left out. At least, I hope I'm the only one. Should anyone have similar symptoms, contact me immediately.
Destimorphoplasia is recognized by not only lacking a sense of direction, but by demonstrating a confidence in going the WRONG direction. That inner voice that urges you to hug a crying child, or to smile when you get what you always wanted for your birthday? That gets replaced by some insidious jackass that tells you to go in whatever is the most wrong direction possible. You live in Montana but plan on taking the fam' to Tennessee? Sure, let's head toward the Canadian border. Or maybe you just came to a 4-way intersection in an unfamiliar city. You can bet that after you take that right turn you were SURE ABOUT, within 10 minutes, you'll be surrounded by trash bin fires and bums trying to wash your windows. When all you had to do was look left, and you would have seen Aunt Trudy's gorgeous house on the corner.
Seriously. Bugs Bunny has nothing on me.
Anyway, that was the long way around (see what I mean?!) to arriving at the signposts of Appreciation Street and Gratitude Avenue. Without your app, I would be dead.
I mean: first lost, then starving, then dead. And likely some friends and/or family members as well. I'm usually the driver for some strange reason.
So thanks, MapQuest. You and your (sometimes overly-chatty, let's be honest) mom voice, have taken me on more safe journeys than I can count. And of course, back again. Heaven knows my brain can't be expected to find my destination in forward, let alone reverse. So keep up the good work; I rather enjoy making it home.
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